The Pull

There are times when I can feel the peace. Then I am alright. My mind is at rest and I can deal with all the dreams and the memories. Oh the memories. I recall. Then it starts again. I can feel the waves starting to rise and the roar beginning to grow in my ears and I know. I just know, it is coming again. The peace will go and the dreams will come and the memories will return and I will remember everything. They'll come to me without asking, randomly, faster and faster, piling up and burying me. I need those memories. I move through the days on them and they sustain me and help me remember. They overwhelm me and keep me from functioning as I want, interfering with tasks, waking me and following me. I hope they never go away. I wish they'd leave me alone.